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psychology multi-part question and need support to help me learn. nweed help with rg article thank you Requirements: 00 | .doc file © Robin Van Doren, Open Doors A father and son make an offering at the grave of their Chinese ancestors during village cremation ceremonies held in Peliatan, Bali. In this way, religious and cultural traditions are passed along to successive generations through socializing processes that are important to the ongoing life of the community. des35465_ch02_048-087.indd 48des35465_ch02_048-087.indd 481/17/14 3:49 PM1/17/14 3:49 PMFinal PDF to printer 49 CHAPTER 2 Learning About Death: Socialization I magine yourself as a child. Someone says, ÒEverybodyÕs going to ziss one of these days. It happens to all of us. You, too, will ziss.Ó Or, one day as youÕre playing, you are told, ÒDonÕt touch that, itÕs zissed!Ó Being an observant child, you notice that, when a person zisses, other people cry and appear to be sad. Over time, as you put together all your expe-riences of Òzissing,Ó you begin to develop some personal feelings and thoughts about what it means to ziss. The understanding of death evolves like this. As a child grows older, incorporating various experiences of death, his or her concepts and responses to death begin to resem-ble those of the adults in the culture. Just as a childÕs understanding of ÒmoneyÓ changes over timeÑat fi rst, it is a matter of little or no concern; later, it seems to come into the childÕs experience almost magically; and fi nally, it engages the childÕs attention and partic-ipation in many different waysÑso, too, does the child develop new understandings about the meaning of death. As with other aspects of human development, the understanding of death evolves as experiences stimulate reevaluation of previously held knowledge, beliefs, and attitudes. des35465_ch02_048-087.indd 49des35465_ch02_048-087.indd 491/17/14 3:49 PM1/17/14 3:49 PMFinal PDF to printer 50 chapter 2 Learning About Death: Socialization A ChildÕs Reasoning A twenty-seven-month-old child had been waking several times each night and screaming hysterically for a bottle of sugar water. 1 This had been going on for two months. His father describes getting up one night for the second or third time and deciding with his wife to use fi rmness in refusing to meet the childÕs demand. He went into his sonÕs room and told him that he was too old to have a bottle and would have to go back to sleep without it. The father, his mind made up that enough was enough, started to leave the room. But then he heard a frightened cry, one of desperation that sounded like the fear of death. Wondering what could be causing the child such alarm, the father turned back into the room, took his son out of the crib, and asked, ÒWhat will happen if you donÕt get your bottle?Ó The child, no longer hys-terical, but very tearful and sniffl ing, said, ÒI canÕt make contact!Ó The father asked, ÒWhat does that mean, Ôyou canÕt make contactÕ?Ó His son replied, ÒIf I run out of gas, I canÕt make contactÑmy engine wonÕt go. You know!Ó The father then remembered several family excursions during the pre-vious summer, when vehicles had run out of gas. ÒWhat are you afraid will happen if you run out of gas?Ó Still crying, the child replied, ÒMy motor wonÕt run, and then IÕll die.Ó At that point, the father recalled another incident his son had witnessed. Some time earlier, when they were selling an old car, the prospective buyer had tried to start the engine, but the battery was dead, and the engine wouldnÕt turn over. The child had heard remarks like ÒItÕs prob-ably not making contact, Ó Òthe motor died, Ó and ÒI guess the batteryÕs dead. Ó With this in mind, the father asked, ÒAre you afraid that your bottle is like gasoline and, just like when the car runs out of gas, the car dies; so, if you run out of food, youÕll die?Ó The child nodded his head yes. The father explained, ÒWell, thatÕs not the same thing at all. You see, when you eat food, your body stores up energy so that you have enough to last you all night. You eat three times a day; we only fi ll up the car with gas once a week. When the car runs out of gas, it doesnÕt have any saved up for an emergency. But with people, it isnÕt anything like that at all. You can go maybe two or three days without eating. And, even if you got hungry, you still wouldnÕt die. People arenÕt anything like cars.Ó This explanation seemed to do little to alleviate the childÕs anxiety, so the father tried a different tack. ÒYouÕre worried that you have a motor, just like a car, right?Ó The child nodded yes. ÒSo,Ó continued the father, ÒyouÕre worried that, if you run out of gas or run out of food youÕll die, just like the motor of a car, right?Ó Again, the child nodded yes. ÒAh, but the car has a key, right? We can turn it on and off anytime we want, right?Ó Now the childÕs body began to relax. ÒBut where is your key?Ó The father poked around the boyÕs belly button: ÒIs this your key?Ó The child laughed. ÒCan I turn your motor off and on? See, youÕre really nothing like a car at all. Nobody can turn you on and off. Once your motor is on, you donÕt have to worry about it dying. You can sleep through the whole night, and your motor will keep running without you ever having to fi ll it up with gas. Do you know what I mean?Ó The child said, ÒYes.Ó des35465_ch02_048-087.indd 50des35465_ch02_048-087.indd 501/17/14 3:49 PM1/17/14 3:49 PMFinal PDF to printer A Mature Concept of Death 51 ÒOkay. Now you can sleep without worrying. When you wake in the morn-ing, your motor will still be running. Okay?Ó Never again did the child wake up in the middle of the night asking for a bottle of warm sugar water. The father later speculated that two experiences had contributed to his childÕs concerns: First, the child had decided that sugar water would give him gas because he had overheard his parents saying that a younger sibling had ÒgasÓ from drinking sugar water; second, when the childÕs parakeet died, his question, ÒWhat happened to it?Ó was answered by his father: ÒEvery animal has a motor inside that keeps it going. When a thing dies, it is like when a motor stops running. Its motor just wonÕt run anymore.Ó In this dialogue between a child and his father, notice how the fatherÕs skills in listening and his sensitivity to his childÕs behavior helped him engage in this kind of conversation. Consider, too, the impressive reasoning that goes on in a childÕs mindÑthe way of stringing together concepts, the com-plex associations of language and death. A Mature Concept of Death Some people believe that children do not think about death through infancy, toddlerhood, and the preschool years. As this story illustrates, however, it is more realistic to expect that children will have experiences with death from very early ages. A study conducted by Mark Speece to investigate the impact of death experiences on children ages one to three helps confi rm this. 2 Speece says, ÒIt seems safe to conclude that death experiences occur in the lives of a sizable proportion of children of this age and that those children who do have such experiences attempt to deal with and integrate their specifi c death experiences into their understanding of the world in general.Ó Slightly over half of the children Speece studied had some experience with death: in some cases, a human death (for example, a grandparent, a cousin, a neighbor); in others, a nonhuman death, such as that of a pet. Speece found that these young children responded to death in observable ways. Some children actively looked for the deceased pet or person. One child became angry when a pet bird that had died would not come back to life. Children questioned the immobility of the deceased and what happens after death, and expressed concern about the welfare of the living. Through observing and interacting with children at different ages, psy-chologists have described how children gain a mature understanding of death. In reviewing more than 100 such studies, Mark Speece and Sandor Brent conclude, ÒIt is now generally accepted that the concept of death is not a single, unidimensional concept but is, rather, made up of several relatively distinct subconcepts.Ó 3 A formal statement of the empirical, or observable, facts about death includes four primary components: 4 1. Universality. All living things must eventually die. Death is all-inclusive, inevitable, and unavoidable (although unpredictable in its exact timing; that is, death may occur at any moment to any living thing). 2. Irreversibility. Death is irrevocable and fi nal. Organisms that die cannot be made alive again. (This is separate from a belief in a spiritual afterlife.) des35465_ch02_048-087.indd 51des35465_ch02_048-087.indd 511/17/14 3:49 PM1/17/14 3:49 PMFinal PDF to printer 52 chapter 2 Learning About Death: Socialization 3. Nonfunctionality. Death involves the cessation of all physiological func-tioning. All life-defi ning bodily functions and capabilities cease at death. 4. Causality. There are biological reasons for the occurrence of death. This component includes a recognition of both internal (e.g., disease) and external (e.g., physical trauma) causes of death. A fi fth component, personal mortality, may be added to this list. A subcom-ponent of universality, it makes explicit the understanding not only that all living things die but also that each living thing will die (ÒI will dieÓ). In addition, individuals with a mature understanding of death typically hold nonempirical ideas about it as well. 5 Such nonempirical ideasÑthat is, ideas not subject to scientifi c proofÑdeal mainly with the notion that human beings survive in some form beyond the death of the physical body. What happens to an individualÕs ÒpersonalityÓ after he or she dies? Does the self or soul continue to exist after the death of the physical body? If so, what is the nature of this ÒafterlifeÓ? Developing personally meaningful answers to such questions, which involve what Speece and Brent term Ònoncorporeal © Nick Downes des35465_ch02_048-087.indd 52des35465_ch02_048-087.indd 521/17/14 3:49 PM1/17/14 3:49 PMFinal PDF to printer Understanding Death Through the Life Course 53continuity,Ó is, for many individuals, part of the process of acquiring a mature understanding of death. Most children understand by about three or four years of age that death is a changed state. The major aspects of a mature concept of death are mas-tered in a relatively fi xed sequential order between the ages of fi ve and ten. 6 Studies investigating this sequence have generally found that understanding the irreversibility of death occurs fi rst, by age fi ve or six, with the recogni-tion that the dead cannot come back to life. Between the ages of fi ve and eight, a major shift occurs in how children think about biological phenomena and, specifi cally, how the human body functions to maintain life. 7 In early school years, children come to understand that death affects all living things and that it is characterized by bodily processes ceasing to function. By ages seven to ten, all basic components of a mature concept of death have been acquired. ÒDeath is conceptualized as a fundamentally biological event that inevitably happens to all living things and is ultimately caused by an irre-versible breakdown in the functioning of the body.Ó 8 Of course, some chil-dren take longer than others to come to this understanding, and some may even resist or defend against acknowledging information related to a mature understanding of death. 9 The ever-expanding understanding of death during childhood is further refi ned during adolescence and early adulthood, as individuals consider the social and emotional impact of death on close relationships and contemplate the value of religious or philosophical answers to the meaning of death. Thus, a mature understanding of death goes beyond a biological focus to an appreciation for the life lost, the characteristics that make the loss of life a tragedy. 10 What a person ÒknowsÓ about death may change from time to time. We may hold confl icting or contradictory notions about death, especially our own. When facing a distressing situation, an understanding of the facts may give way to a more childlike attitude, such as the notion that we can bargain where death is concerned. A patient told that he or she has only six months to live may imagine that by some magical act, some bargain with God or the universe, the death sentence can be postponed. Thus, although the main evolution toward a mature understanding of death occurs during childhood, how a person understands death fl uctuates among different ways of knowing throughout life. Later in this chapter, we discuss the distinctive developmen-tal transitions that pertain to adulthood. Understanding Death Through the Life Course The evolving understanding of death is a process of continuous adjustment and refi nement. It is part of human development, which refers to the changes in physical, psychological, and social behavior experienced across the life span. 11 By observing childrenÕs behavior, developmental psychologists devise theories, or models, to describe the characteristic concerns and interests of des35465_ch02_048-087.indd 53des35465_ch02_048-087.indd 531/17/14 3:49 PM1/17/14 3:49 PMFinal PDF to printer 54 chapter 2 Learning About Death: Socializationchildren at various ages. These models are like maps that describe the main features of the territory of childhood at different stages of development. The models are useful for describing the characteristics of a typical child at, say, age two or age seven. Children vary in their individual rates of developmentÑnot only phys-ically, but also emotionally, socially, and cognitively. Thus, with respect to a childÕs understanding of death, paying attention to the sequence of devel-opment is more pertinent than trying to correlate understanding to a spe-cifi c age. Experience plays an important role. A child who has had fi rsthand encounters with death may arrive at a more mature understanding of death than is typical of other children of the same age. Children are active thinkers and learners. Very young children appear to make theory-like assumptions about the world, and they use basic reason-ing to make causal explanations about physical, biological, and psychological events. 12 In recent decades, studies have shown infants and young children behaving in ways that imply an understanding of physical and perceptual phenomena at ages younger than previously thought possible. 13 In tracking the development of the understanding of death in children, it is useful to have a framework within which to place the distinctive attitudes and behaviors that pertain to various phases of childhood. The formal study of childrenÕs understanding of death can be traced to the pioneering work of Paul Schilder and David Wechsler (1934). 14 However, studies conducted in the early 1940s by Sylvia Anthony in England and Maria Nagy in Hungary have received greater attention. To summarize, according to Anthony, children under the age of two have no understanding of Òdead,Ó by fi ve they have a limited concept, and by nine they can give general explanations for death; in addition, young chil-dren engage in magical thinking (that is, the notion that, for example, angry thoughts or feelings can cause someoneÕs death). 15 Nagy found three developmental stages in childrenÕs understanding of death between the ages of three and ten. Her research showed that, in the fi rst stage (ages three to fi ve), children understood death as somehow being less alive; the dead Òlive onÓ under changed circumstances and can return to normal life. In the second stage (ages fi ve to nine), children understood We are reading the newspaper on the terrace in our suite in a New York hotel. It is a faultless fall day. Out two-year-old daughter is sitting contentedly beside us, drinking a bottle. She climbs off her chair and squats down, inspecting something on the ground. She pulls the bottle out of her mouth, calls to me and points to a large, motionless bumble bee. She is alarmed, shaking her head back and forth, as if to say ÒNo, no, no!Ó ÒThe bee stopped,Ó she says. Then she makes a command: ÒMake it start.Ó Carol Blue, Mortality des35465_ch02_048-087.indd 54des35465_ch02_048-087.indd 541/17/14 3:49 PM1/17/14 3:49 PMFinal PDF to printer Understanding Death Through the Life Course 55death as fi nal but as avoidable and lacking inevitability and personal refer-ence (ÒI will dieÓ). In the third stage (ages nine and older), children rec-ognized death as the result of a biological process that is fi nal, inevitable, universal, and personal. 16 Although research generally has indicated that most children have acquired a mature concept of death around the age of nine, recent studies show that children begin to conceptualize death as a biological event at the same time they construct a Òbiological modelÓ of how the human body func-tions. 17 By preschool age, an animate/inanimate distinction serves Òas the center of a vast cluster of conceptual distinctions,Ó including a na•ve theory of biology. 18 Only after children begin to think purposefully about the bio-logical functions of life-sustaining body parts (e.g., the heart is for pumping blood) do they become Òlife theorizers,Ó able to reason that, without these parts, one would die. 19 Older children are more apt than younger children to state that bodily functions cease at death. 20 In the discussion that follows, childrenÕs development is placed within the framework of two major theories or models of human developmentÑnamely, those devised by Erik Erikson and Jean Piaget. The model of human development devised by Erikson focuses on the stages of psychosocial development, or the psychosocial milestones, that occur successively throughout a personÕs life (see Figure 2-1 ). 21 Each stage involves a crisis, or turning point, that requires a response so that the individual can gain mastery over various issues and further develop a sense of identity. For Figure 2-1 Stages of Psychosocial Development Proposed by Erikson 013611194065651Timetrust versusmistrustautonomyversus shameinitiativeversus guiltindustry versusinferiorityidentity versusconfusionintimacy versusisolationgenerativity versusstagnationintegrity versusdespairdes35465_ch02_048-087.indd 55des35465_ch02_048-087.indd 551/17/14 3:49 PM1/17/14 3:49 PMFinal PDF to printer 56 chapter 2 Learning About Death: SocializationErikson, the basic needs of connectedness and independence complement and support each other in the successful resolution of each stage. As you think about various stages and the crises associated with them, keep in mind that Erikson believed that all the issues surrounding the development of iden-tity and the mastery of various tasks and skills are present at every period of a personÕs life. This means that adults deal with issues or crises initially described as having occurred during childhood. Each of the major issues in development is ÒrecycledÓ whenever events in oneÕs life elicit it. Jean PiagetÕs focus was on the cognitive transformations that occur during childhood (see Table 2-1 ). 22 According to Piaget, the basic unit of under-standing is a schema or scheme, defi ned as Òa pattern of knowing something.Ó Development occurs through two complementary processes: assimilation and accommodation. The fi rst term implies that we apply our current schemes to new information and incorporate this information into existing schemes. The second term refers to the process of adjusting or modifying our current schemes to handle new information. Age (approximate) Developmental Period Characteristics BirthÐ2 years Sensorimotor Focused on senses and motor abilities; learns object exists even when not observable (object permanence) and begins to remember and imagine ideas and expe-riences (mental representation). 2Ð7 years Preoperational Development of symbolic thinking and language to understand the world. (2Ð4 years) Preconceptual subperiod: sense of magi-cal omnipotence; self as center of world; egocentric thought; all natural objects have feelings and inten-tion (will). (4Ð6 years) Prelogical subperiod: beginning prob-lem solving; seeing is believing; trial and error; under-standing of other points of view; more socialized speech; gradual decentering of self and discovery of correct relationships. 7Ð12 years Concrete operational Applies logical abilities to understanding concrete ideas; organizes and classifi es information; manipu-lates ideas and experiences symbolically; able to think backward and forward; notion of reversibility; can think logically about things experienced. 12 1   years Formal operational Reasons logically about abstract ideas and experi-ences; can think hypothetically about things never experienced; deductive and inductive reasoning; complexity of knowledge; many answers to questions; interest in ethics, politics, social sciences. table 2-1 PiagetÕs Model of Cognitive Development des35465_ch02_048-087.indd 56des35465_ch02_048-087.indd 561/17/14 3:49 PM1/17/14 3:49 PMFinal PDF to printer Understanding Death Through the Life Course 57 Although we are constantly reaching new levels of understanding, Piaget said that at times so many new levels of understanding converge that there occurs a major reorganization in the structure of our thinking. Accordingly, Piaget distinguished four different periods of cognitive development based on the characteristic ways in which individuals organize their experience of the world: sensorimotor, preoperational, concrete operational, and formal opera-tional. Although children move through these stages in the same sequence, each childÕs rate of development is unique. In the following discussion of the years of childhood and adolescence, we make use of both Erikson and Piaget in describing developmental patterns. Infancy and Toddlerhood As shown in Figure 2-1 , Erikson characterizes the period from birth to roughly one year as predominantly a time of developing a sense of basic trust toward the environment. The positive outcome of this developmental ÒcrisisÓ is hope. If the infantÕs needs are not met, the result may be distrust. Other people in the environmentÑtypically parentsÑplay an important part in development as the infant acquires a sense of trust in others as reliable and nurturant. Moreover, he or she learns not only to trust others, but also that the world is predictable. The death of a caregiver can disrupt building this foundation of trusting others and trusting the environment. Similarly, a death that affects other family members and puts them under stress can adversely affect the infantÕs developing sense of predictability about the world. When a death occurs in the childÕs environment, adults need to watch for nonverbal cues that the child might understand more than the adults assume or than is readily apparent. 23 During the next stage according to Erikson, toddlerhood (roughly one to three years of age), the child grapples with issues of autonomy versus shame and doubt. The positive outcome is characterized as will. This is a period of Òletting goÓ and Òholding onÓ in both psychosocial and physical development. Toilet training typically occurs during this time. Toddlers make giant gains in object recognition and thinking between the ages of 18 and 24 months. There is a developmental leap in their pretend play (for instance, pretending a laundry basket is a car), a basic form of symbolic thinking. 24 As the tod-dler explores the environment and develops greater independence, there are inevitably clashes of wills between what the child wants to do and what others want the child to do. Exercising independence is a hallmark of this stage. The death of a signifi cant other, especially a primary caregiver, affects the childÕs task of pursuing independence and may cause a regression to earlier behav-iors, such as clinging, crying, and being more demanding. Turning to PiagetÕs model, the fi rst two years of life are characterized as the sensorimotor period, as a child develops and strengthens his or her sensory and motor, or physical, abilities. This period starts with the refl ex schemes babies are born with and ends with elementary symbol use. At roughly 12 to 18 months, we see Òinfant scientistsÓ at work with the environment as their laboratory. ÒThey perform miniature experiments in which they deliberately des35465_ch02_048-087.indd 57des35465_ch02_048-087.indd 571/17/14 3:49 PM1/17/14 3:49 PMFinal PDF to printer 58 chapter 2 Learning About Death: Socializationvary an action in order to see how this variation affects the outcome.Ó 25 As the child accumulates experiences of the fl ow of events in the environment, he or she gradually begins to perceive patterns that become generalized into schemes, which tie together the common features of actions occurring at dif-ferent times. Meg Jay says, In the fi rst eighteen months of life, the brain experiences its fi rst growth spurt, producing far more neurons than it can use. The infant brain overprepares, readying itself for whatever life brings, such as to speak any language within earshot. This is how we go from being one-year-olds who understand fewer than one hundred words to being six-year-olds who know more than ten thousand. 26 Between about 14 and 24 months, most children make a transition into the next period. They begin to show insight learning, budding symbol use, and simple pretend play. With symbol use, children are no longer tied to the here and now, nor do they need to act overtly on the environment to think about causality and how things work. In the beginning, a parent who leaves the room has simply vanished; there is no thought, ÒMy parent is in the other room.Ó Eventually, the child acquires the concept of object permanence; an object continues to exist even when one cannot see, hear, or feel it. Piaget says, Òa Copernican revolution takes place,Ó with the result that Òat the end of this sensory-motor evolution, there are permanent objects, constituting a universe within which the childÕs own body exists also.Ó 27 Early Childhood In EriksonÕs model, the preschool and kindergarten years (roughly three to six years of age) involve issues of initiative versus guilt. The positive out-come is purpose. The child is convinced that she is a person; now she must fi nd out what kind of person she is going to be. 28 The child seeks his or her own direction and purpose yet is concerned about how parents (and other sig-nifi cant adults) perceive these tentative efforts to express individuality. The egocentric orientation of the infant gives way to the socially integrated self of the older child. Children tend to fi rst acknowledge death in the preschool years. Children may become fascinated with the idea of ÒgoneÓ or Òall gone.Ó For the young child, being dead is an altered state of living or a diminished form of life. A Driving my three-year-old daughter to day care before work, I noticed a family of dead raccoons on the road. I quickly sped past, hoping she wouldnÕt spot them. No such luck. ÒMommy, what was that?Ó ÒSome wood must have fallen from a truck,Ó I fi bbed. ÒOh,Ó she said. ÒIs that what killed all those raccoons?Ó Tammy Maas des35465_ch02_048-087.indd 58des35465_ch02_048-087.indd 581/17/14 3:49 PM1/17/14 3:49 PMFinal PDF to printer Understanding Death Through the Life Course 59four-year-old girl told Robert Kastenbaum, ÒThey have only dead people to talk to, and dead people donÕt listen, and they donÕt play, and they miss all the TV shows they liked.Ó 29 Children in this period typically consider that death is something that happens only to the very sick or aged, and it can be avoided with healthy living and by avoiding situations that are fatal (e.g., car crashes). 30 This period marks the beginning of the childÕs moral sense, the ability to function within socially sanctioned modes of behavior. During this period, situations arise that induce feelings of guilt. For instance, a child who has fantasies of doing away with a parentÑexpressed perhaps by the frustrated scream, ÒI wish you were dead!ÓÑmay feel guilty or shameful about having such thoughts. Refl ecting emerging communication skills, the childÕs concept of death expands quite rapidly during the preschool and kindergarten years. The body becomes important to childrenÕs self-image as they race around on tricycles, learn to cut small pieces of paper precisely, and generally gain greater control over their bodies. During this period, bodily mutilation is one of the death-related fears that may manifest. This preoccupation with the body can be illustrated: A fi ve-year-old witnessed the death of his younger brother, who was killed when the wheel of a truck rolled over his head. The parents, who were considering having a wake in their home, asked the surviv-ing son how he might feel if his younger brotherÕs body were brought into the house for a wake. His question was ÒDoes he look hurt?Ó Concern about bodily disfi gurement is characteristic of this stage of psychosocial develop-ment (see Figure 2-2 ). Children in this age group need to be given accurate information about a death and what caused it so they will not draw errone-ous conclusions. Common expressions of grief at this period include sadness, regression, play reenactment, and magical thinking. In PiagetÕs model, early childhood is characterized as the preoperational period. Cognitive development centers on learning to use language and sym-bols to represent objects, a huge shift in human development. Because so many changes in thinking emerge during the transition from the preschool to the school years, this period has come to be called the fi ve-to-seven-year shift. How does PiagetÕs model apply to childrenÕs concepts of death? A study conducted by Gerald Koocher supplies a partial answer. Children were asked four questions about death. 31 (You might want to answer these questions for yourself.) The fi rst question was, What makes things die? Children in the preoperational stage used fantasy reasoning, magical thinking, and realistic causes of death (sometimes expressed in egocentric terms). Here are sample responses: ¥ Gia: ÒWhen they eat bad things, like if you went with a stranger and they gave you a candy bar with poison on it. [ The researcher asks, ÒAnything else?Ó ] Yes, you can die if you swallow a dirty bug.Ó ¥ Emilio: ÒThey eat poison and stuff, pills. YouÕd better wait until your Mom gives them to you. [ Anything else? ] Drinking poison water and stuff like going swimming alone.Ó ¥ Louis: ÒA bird might get real sick and die if you catch it. [ Anything else? ] They could eat the wrong foods like aluminum foil. ThatÕs all I can think of.Ó des35465_ch02_048-087.indd 59des35465_ch02_048-087.indd 591/17/14 3:49 PM1/17/14 3:49 PMFinal PDF to printer 60 chapter 2 Learning About Death: Socialization The understanding of death during the early childhood years is also illus-trated in a study done by Helen Swain. 32 Most children in this study expressed the notion that death is reversible, attributing the return of life to the good effects of ambulances, hospitals, or doctors, whose help is often summoned magically, as if a dead person could ring up the hospital and say, ÒWill you send me an ambulance over here? IÕm dead and I need you to fi x me up.Ó About two-thirds of the children said that death is unlikely or avoidable or is brought about only by unusual events such as an accident or a catastrophe. About one-third expressed disbelief that death could happen to them or to their families. Nearly half were uncertain about whether they would ever die or else thought they would die only in the remote future. Middle Childhood or School-Age Period In EriksonÕs model, the years from about six to the beginning of puberty correspond to the stage of industry versus inferiority. The positive outcome of this stage is competence. This is the Òindustrial age,Ó a period when the child is busy in school, interacting with peers in a variety of ways. The theme is ÒI am what I learn.Ó As a childÕs efforts begin to gain recogni-tion and bring satisfaction, he or she may be anxious about those areas in Figure 2-2 Accident Drawing by a Five-Year-Old In this drawing by a fi ve-year-old who witnessed his younger brotherÕs accidental death, the surviving child is depicted as riding a Big Wheel on the left side of the truck that ran over his brother. The four wheels of the truck are shown, and the younger brotherÕs head is drawn next to the wheel farthest to the right. This drawing is similar to one drawn by the child on the night of the fatal accident, when he told his parents, ÒI canÕt sleep because I canÕt get the pictures out of my head.Ó The act of externalizing these disturbing images by making a drawing had therapeutic value for this child in coming to terms with the traumatic expe-rience of his siblingÕs death. des35465_ch02_048-087.indd 60des35465_ch02_048-087.indd 601/17/14 3:49 PM1/17/14 3:49 PMFinal PDF to printer Understanding Death Through the Life Course 61which there is a lack of control or sense of inadequacy. An example is seen in reactions of children to the terrorist attacks of 2001. According to Grace Crist, children in the eight-to-eleven age range had a diffi cult time navigat-ing what had happened because they werenÕt old enough to fully grasp the big picture the way adolescents can. At that age, she says, children need details and concrete information to feel a sense of control, but the details of 9/11 were gruesome, making the event frightening and almost impossible to comprehend. 33 Common grief reactions in the middle childhood period include school and learning problems, phobias, anger, and hypochondriasis. The death of a parent during the school-age years is likely to deprive a child of an important source of recognition. During these years of development, as children learn new tasks, they are also comparing themselves with their peers. When one nine-year-old moved to a different school shortly after her motherÕs death, she didnÕt want her new acquaintances to know about the death. When ques-tioned about this, she replied, ÒHaving a dead mother makes me too different from other kids.Ó In PiagetÕs framework, this period is denoted by the term concrete oper-ations. The child begins to use logic to solve problems and to think logi-cally about things without having to have their relationships demonstrated directly. The ability to do arithmetic, for instance, requires the recognition that numbers are symbols for quantities. Children at this stage are able to Childhood activities such as Òplaying deadÓ can be a means of experimenting with various concepts, trying them on for size, and thus arriving at a more comprehensive and manage-able sense of reality. © Carol A. Footedes35465_ch02_048-087.indd 61des35465_ch02_048-087.indd 611/17/14 3:49 PM1/17/14 3:49 PMFinal PDF to printer 62 chapter 2 Learning About Death: Socializationmanipulate concepts in a logical fashion, although typically they do not engage in abstract thinking. In other words, the ability to think logically is applied to objects but not yet to hypotheses, which require the ability to carry out Òoperations on operations.Ó The characteristic mode of thought in this developmental period emphasizes real-life situations or concrete instances of a problem, not hypothetical or theoretical problems. During this period, children name both intentional and unintentional means by which a person may die, and they are familiar with a wide range of causes of death. When a death occurs, children are likely to be concerned about their own safety and the safety of other family members. Here are some responses from the children in KoocherÕs study when asked about causes of death: ¥ Beatrice: ÒKnife, arrow, guns, and lots of stuff. You want me to tell you all of them? [ As many as you want. ] Hatchets and animals, and fi res and explosions, too.Ó ¥ JosŽ: ÒCancer, heart attacks, poison, guns, bullets, or if someone drops a boulder on you.Ó ¥ Catherine: ÒAccidents, cars, guns, or a knife. Old age, sickness, taking dope, or drowning.Ó Adolescence The period of life called adolescence is conceptualized in terms of three stages: early adolescence, from about eleven to fourteen years, which begins with puberty and involves a shift in attachment from parents to peers; middle adolescence, about ages fi fteen to seventeen, marked by the development of individual self-image, experimentation, and striving for competency, mas-tery, and control; and late adolescence, the years from about eighteen to the early twenties, distinguished by increased self-acceptance, concern for oth-ers, and an increasingly future-oriented view of the world. 34 Ken Doka says the key developmental issues of adolescence are often called the three I Õs: identity, independence, and intimacy. 35 One writer says, Childhood is important, but more and more I am curious about what went on in high school. High school and our twenties are not only the time when we have our most self-defi ning experiences, study after study shows they are also the time when we have our most self-defi ning memories. 36 It has been pointed out that adolescence is Òa period when young people draw on ÔrepertoiresÕ characteristic of both adulthood and childhood.Ó 37 In EriksonÕs model, adolescence is marked by the crisis of identity versus confusion (sometimes characterized as role confusion or identity diffusion). The positive outcome of this crisis is fi delity. Identity has been defi ned as Òthe way in which we adopt certain strategies of action to maintain a connection with others, with our past, and with our own aspirations.Ó 38 Adolescence is associated with physical and hormonal changes brought about by puberty. It is also a time when, as with the period associated with des35465_ch02_048-087.indd 62des35465_ch02_048-087.indd 621/17/14 3:49 PM1/17/14 3:49 PMFinal PDF to printer Understanding Death Through the Life Course 63the fi rst eighteen months of life, Òthousands of new connections sproutÓ in the wiring of the brain, Òexponentially increasing our capacity of new learning.Ó Again, the brain overprepares, this time for the Òuncertainty of adult life.Ó 39 This is usually a time for switching schools, with adolescents going from elementary to middle and high schools, where they encounter different poli-cies and focuses. ÒAdolescents are confronted with a host of unique transi-tional issues,Ó says Robin Paletti; besides physical changes, Òteenagers must also negotiate pressing psychosocial concerns surrounding the attainment of independence, peer acceptance, and self-esteem.Ó 40 Another writer says, ÒThe psychosocial modality of this stage is to be oneself or not to be one-self.Ó 41 As they change into adults and approach the end of their school years, adolescents recognize that they will soon have to leave home and make major decisions about college education and career paths. ÒWith independence looming, the adolescent must negotiate some degree of detachment from the family, provoking feelings of loss.Ó 42 A bridge is established between the pastÑthe years of childhood and dependencyÑand the futureÑthe years of adulthood and independence. The central question is, Who am I as an emotional, thinking, physical, and sexual being? Remember what it was like being a teenager? Becoming more your own person? Striving to express your own ideas and beliefs? Sorting out the tangle of all thatÕs happening to you? Deciding what you want for your life? Adolescence can be confusing and challenging. The achievement of goals and dreams seems nearly within oneÕs grasp; death threatens that achievement. When a close death occurs, common grief reactions during adolescence include denial, depression, anger, somatization (conversion of a mental state into physical symptoms), mood swings, and philosophical questioning. Surviving a close death may also result in a more rapid Ògrow-ing up.Ó In PiagetÕs model, adolescence is characterized by the use of formal operations. The fourth and fi nal phase in PiagetÕs theory, this period begins at about the age of eleven or twelve and extends into adulthood, although a personÕs fundamental way of seeing the world is thought to be fairly well established by about age fi fteen. With the arrival of formal operational think-ing, the individual is able to Òthink about thinkingÓÑthat is, to formulate concepts that are abstract or symbolic. Relations of correspondence or impli-cation between complex sets of statements can be perceived, analogies recog-nized, and assumptions or deductions made. It becomes possible to predict outcomes without having to try them in the real world. In a chess game, for example, formal operations of thought allow players to consider a number of complicated strategies and to predict the likely result of each move, without having to touch a single piece on the board. In KoocherÕs study, most of the children who used formal operations of thought were twelve or older, although a few were as young as nine or ten. des35465_ch02_048-087.indd 63des35465_ch02_048-087.indd 631/17/14 3:49 PM1/17/14 3:49 PMFinal PDF to printer 64 chapter 2 Learning About Death: SocializationThe children interviewed by Koocher refl ected a mature understanding of death in their responses to the question, What makes things die? ¥ Ant—nio: ÒYou mean death in a physical sense? [ Yes. ] Destruction of a vital organ or life force within us.Ó ¥ George: ÒThey get old and their body gets all worn out, and their organs donÕt work as well as they used to.Ó ¥ Paula: ÒWhen the heart stops, blood stops circulating. You stop breathing, and thatÕs it. [ Anything else? ] Well, thereÕs lots of ways it can get started, but thatÕs what really happens.Ó Although adolescents typically demonstrate a mature understanding of death, this does not necessarily mean that there are no differences in the ways adolescents and adults understand and cope with death. For example, an adolescentÕs understanding of the universality of death may be infl uenced by a sense of invulnerability (ÒIt canÕt happen to meÓ). The concept of per-sonal death may not be easily accepted. In forging a sense of identity, the adolescent is confronted by the need to Òreconcile that identity with ultimate disintegration and not being.Ó 43 Emerging Adulthood Although adolescence historically has been defi ned as occupying ages eleven or twelve through eighteen or twenty, some developmentalists have proposed a category, emerging adulthood, for the period from the late teens through the twenties, especially ages eighteen to twenty-fi ve. For most young people today, adulthood no longer begins when adolescence ends. Social sci-entists point out, ÒSocieties have not yet become fully aware of, or begun fully to address, the ramifi cations of the longer and more varied transition into adult life.Ó 44 Many individuals in this age range enter a moratorium, postponing com-mitments and identity decisions. This delay is often associated with the time needed to gain an education or to make choices about a career. This is a time when many possibilities and directions in work, love, and worldview can be imagined. People of this age group no longer view themselves as adoles-cents, but they may not see themselves entirely as adults either. ÒEmerging adults can pursue novel and intense experiences more freely than adoles-cents because they are less likely to be monitored by parents and can pursue them more freely than adults because they are less constrained by roles.Ó 45 The prevalence of certain types of risk behaviorÑincluding unprotected sex, substance abuse, risky driving, and binge drinkingÑappears to peak during the years of emerging adulthood. Like adolescents in this regard, emerging adults may think they are Òbeyond death.Ó Early Adulthood Human development does not stop with childhoodÕs end. The patterns of coping with loss continue to evolve throughout a personÕs life span. Just as we associate certain developmental tasks and abilities with children of different des35465_ch02_048-087.indd 64des35465_ch02_048-087.indd 641/17/14 3:49 PM1/17/14 3:49 PMFinal PDF to printer Understanding Death Through the Life Course 65ages, so, too, we distinguish distinctive phases and transitions during adult life. All too often, we are sensitive to the developmental stages of childhood but tend to ignore the changes that occur in the last sixty or more years of life. 46 Earlier in this chapter, we discussed the fi rst fi ve stages of psychosocial development proposed by Erik EriksonÑnamely, those pertaining to the years of childhood and adolescence. The last three stages of psychosocial development, according to EriksonÕs model, occur during adulthood. As in childhood, each stage of adult life requires a particular developmental response, and each stage builds on previous ones. Early adulthood (nineteen to forty years) is represented by tension between intimacy and isolation. The positive outcome is love. This stage involves vari-ous forms of commitment and interaction, including sex, friendship, coop-eration, partnership, and affi liation. Ken Doka describes this as Òa time of looking outward, of beginning families and a career.Ó 47 Because mature love takes the risk of commitment, the death of a loved one may be most devastat-ing during this stage and the next. 48 Middle Adulthood The next psychosocial stage according to Erikson is middle adulthood (forty to sixty or sixty-fi ve years), and it is characterized by the crisis of gen-erativity versus stagnation and self-absorption. The positive outcome is care. ÒFaith in the future, a belief in the species, and the ability to care about others seem to be prerequisites for development in this stage,Ó whereas self-indulgence, boredom, and lack of psychological growth signal a lack of gen-erativity. 49 This stage is characterized by a widening commitment to take care of the people, things, and ideas one has learned to care for. Ken Doka characterizes this period as having Òa more settled qualityÓ in that Òjobs, careers, family, and friendship networks have probably stabilized.Ó 50 Michele Paludi says, ÒMiddle adulthood appears to be a prime period for experienc-ing fear of death since it is during this stage of the life cycle that the death of oneÕs parents typically occurs.Ó 51 ÒBloom County,Ó drawing by Berke Breathed, © 1984 by Washington Post Writers Group des35465_ch02_048-087.indd 65des35465_ch02_048-087.indd 651/17/14 3:49 PM1/17/14 3:49 PMFinal PDF to printer 66 chapter 2 Learning About Death: Socialization Later Adulthood In reaching late adulthood, the eighth and fi nal stage of the life cycle, the crisis to be resolved is that of integrity versus despair. The positive outcome of this stage of life is wisdom. ÒPeople must live with what they have built over their lifetime.Ó 52 If the middle-aged adult is aware of mortality in a general sense, the older person can be described as aware of his or her own fi nitude. 53 Patricia Miller says that integrity involves Òacceptance of the limitations of life, a sense of being part of a larger history that includes previous genera-tions, a sense of owning the wisdom of the ages, and a fi nal integration of all the previous stages.Ó She adds that the antithesis of integrity is despair, which has been described as Òregret for what one has done or not done with oneÕs life, fear of approaching death, and disgust with oneself.Ó 54 With respect to this, the psychologist M. Brewster Smith stated, ÒFear of death seems to me partly a refl ection of feeling cheated by life.Ó 55 Viewing the developmental phases as connected, each building on the ones before, the crisis of this period is especially powerful because of physi-cal decline, outward signs of aging, vulnerability to chronic diseases, and the approaching certainty of death. It is marked by the thought, ÒThis is the life IÕve had; there is no other; this is it. I donÕt have options to go back and change things in any signifi cant way.Ó Successfully completing the challenges of this developmental period gives us the strength of wisdom, which Erikson describes as Òinformed and detached concern with life itself in the face of death itself.Ó 56 The Evolution of a Mature Concept of Death Through successive periods of development, individuals progress toward a mature understanding of death and exhibit characteristic responses to loss. Earlier, we looked at childrenÕs responses to the question, What makes things die? Their answers to other questions posed by Koocher also correspond to developmental stages. Asked, ÒHow do you make dead things come back to life?Ó children who thought of death as reversible gave answers like ÒYou can help them; give them hot food and keep them healthy so it wonÕt happen again.Ó Another child said, ÒNo one ever taught me about that, but maybe you could give them some kind of medicine and take them to the hospital to get better.Ó Children in later developmental stages recognized death as perma-nent: ÒIf it was a tree, you could water it. If itÕs a person, you could rush them to the emergency room, but it would do no good if they were dead already.Ó Another child said, ÒMaybe some day weÕll be able to do it, but not now. Scien-tists are working on that problem.Ó Asked, ÒWhen will you die?Ó younger children gave answers ranging from ÒWhen IÕm sevenÓ (from a six-year-old) to ÒThree hundred years.Ó In contrast, My granddaughter was helping me cut onions and it stung her eyes. I said, ÒYouÕll live.Ó Skylar answered, ÒOf course IÕll live. IÕm six. . . .Ó des35465_ch02_048-087.indd 66des35465_ch02_048-087.indd 661/17/14 3:49 PM1/17/14 3:49 PMFinal PDF to printer Agents of Socialization 67older children expected to live a statistically correct life span or a bit more; the usual age at which death was expected was about eighty. In answer to the researchersÕ question, ÒWhat will happen when you die?Ó one nine-and-a-half-year-old said, ÒTheyÕll help me come back alive.Ó The researcher asked, ÒWho?Ó ÒMy father, my mother, and my grandfather,Ó the child responded. ÒTheyÕll keep me in bed and feed me and keep me away from rat poison and stuff.Ó According to some models, a child of nine would understand that none of those measures would work. Thus, this example illustrates the point that age-and-stage correlations provide, at best, a rule of thumb concerning how children develop. In answer to the same question, an eight-and-a-half-year-old replied, ÒYou go to heaven and all that will be left of you will be a skeleton. My friend has some fossils. A fossil is just a skeleton.Ó Notice how this child used comparison to help interpret what happens when death occurs. An eleven-year-old said, ÒIÕll feel dizzy and tired and pass out, and then theyÕll bury me and IÕll rot away. You just disintegrate and only your bones will be left.Ó A twelve-year-old said, ÒIÕll have a nice funeral and be buried and leave all my money to my son.Ó One ten-year-old said, ÒIf I tell you, youÕll laugh.Ó The researcher assured the child, ÒNo, I wonÕt. I want to know what you really think.Ó Thus encouraged, the child continued, ÒI think IÕm going to be rein-carnated as a plant or animal, whatever they need at that particular time.Ó The ability to imagine what things might be like in the future is seen in this childÕs response. Agents of Socialization Acquiring a mature understanding of death is part of the developmental process known as socializationÑ that is, the process by which an individual becomes identifi ed as a member of a particular culture, learning and inter-nalizing the norms, values, rules, and behaviors of society. 57 Classically, pri-mary socialization refers to the preparation of a child for participation in adult society. However, socialization is best seen not as Òa process of acquiring a unitary cultureÓ but as involving the development of capacities for diverse cultural practices across the entire life course. 58 For people living in modern, industrialized countries, this life course now spans, with reasonable certainty, 50 to 70 years, and even beyond. 59 How we are socialized seems signifi cantly tied to the fact that we will one day die. ÒBecause death is universal and inevi-table, it plays a role in shaping the organization and experience of life.Ó 60 Although the main phases of socialization occur during the years of child-hood, it does not end with the age of majority. On the contrary, it continues throughout life as individuals develop new attitudes, values, and beliefs, as well as new social roles. Nor is it a one-way process whereby individuals simply learn to fi t into society. SocietyÕs norms and values are modifi ed as its mem-bers redefi ne their social roles and obligations. These are Òbi-directional socializing processes that lead to individualized arrangements with changing social contexts.Ó 61 des35465_ch02_048-087.indd 67des35465_ch02_048-087.indd 671/17/14 3:49 PM1/17/14 3:49 PMFinal PDF to printer 68 chapter 2 Learning About Death: Socialization Socialization has a variety of infl uences, beginning with the family and extending to peer groups, school and work situations, social clubs, on to vicarious socialization through the popular media and the global Òtranscul-turalÓ environment. As Hannelore Wass says, ÒChildren adopt many values and beliefs from signifi cant adults in their world [including] parents, teach-ers, public fi gures, sports heroes, and famous entertainers.Ó 62 Today, children and adults are exposed to a broader range of infl uences on their socialization than at any other time in history. Resocialization, a term that refers to the Òuprooting and restructuring of basic attitudes, values, or identities,Ó occurs when adults take on new roles that require replacing their existing values and modes of behavior. 63 This occurs, for example, with religious conversion, starting a new job, getting married, having children, or surviving the death of a mate. Widowhood, for example, involves changes in many areas of life, as new roles and activities are taken on. Richard Settersten says, ÒResocialization seems increasingly necessary for everyone in a fast-paced and ever-changing world in which life spans seven or more decades.Ó 64 Secondary socialization is a term used to describe the learning of new rules and behaviors when one becomes a member of a smaller group within the larger society, such as the military, a profession, an urban gang, or a new neighborhood. It occurs, too, when a child enters school with its new rules and expectations. Secondary socialization is generally understood as involv-ing smaller changes than those occurring in primary socialization. People tend to acquire their learning about dying and death on an ad hoc basisÑthat is, in a disorganized and impromptu fashion. Formal educa-tion about death is offered through courses, seminars, and the like, but these avenues of socialization are not part of most peopleÕs experience. The term tactical socialization refers to strategies that, for example, hospice caregivers use to informally teach people about death and dying. 65 Tactical socialization involves actively attempting to change peopleÕs perceptions and behaviors about some aspect of their social world. Family The family is the foundational social institution in all societies, although the defi nition of ÒfamilyÓ varies from place to place and time to time. In the routines of daily life, the beliefs and values of parents are transmitted to their children. The family is the fi rst source of death education in our lives, and its infl uence continues throughout our lives. 66 ItÕs important to recognize that the dead, especially deceased family members, can also serve as agents of socialization, infl uencing the living in many ways. Richard Set-tersten observes, ÒThe infl uence of the dead may be just as greatÑor even greaterÑthan that of the living.Ó 67 Think back to your own childhood. What messages did you receive about death that remain to this day in the back of your mind? Possibly some messages were conveyed directly: ÒThis is what death isÓ or ÒThis is how we behave in rela-tion to death.Ó Perhaps some messages were indirect: ÒLetÕs not talk about it . . . . Ó How would the rest of that sentence go? LetÕs not talk about it . . . because itÕs des35465_ch02_048-087.indd 68des35465_ch02_048-087.indd 681/17/14 3:49 PM1/17/14 3:49 PMFinal PDF to printer Agents of Socialization 69 ÒMom, if there was a dead rabbit in our house, I would ask you if I could poke it. Then when you said no, I would do it anyway because I want to see if it is alive.Ó A four-year-old not something that people talk about? When, as a child, one woman encoun-tered a dead animal on the highway, she was told, ÒYou shouldnÕt look at it.Ó Her mother admonished, ÒPut your head down; children shouldnÕt see that.Ó This is a parental message about appropriate behavior toward death. Other parental messages about death are communicated unconsciously. Consider the notion of replaceability. A childÕs pet dies, and the parent says, ÒItÕs okay, dear, weÕll get another one.Ó Children differ in their emotional response to the death of a family pet; some grieve intensely when a beloved pet dies. Quickly replacing it may not allow time for acknowledging the loss. What lesson about death is taught? Imagine a situation in which a motherÕs grief over her mateÕs death is interrupted by her childÕs remark, ÒDonÕt worry, Mommy, weÕll get you another one.Ó The way we learn about death tends to be a result of happenstance rather than of systematic instruction. It is not always possible to pinpoint the genesis of ideas that an individual acquires about death. Consider the following inci-dent, involving two siblings ages eight and ten. When asked to draw a picture of a funeral (see Figure 2-3 ), they got out their colored pencils and immersed themselves in the task. After a while, Heather (ten) said to Matt (eight), ÒHey, youÕve got smiles on those faces! This is supposed to be a funeral. What are they doing with smiles on their faces?Ó In her model of appropriate death-related behavior, people donÕt smile at funerals; to her younger brother, smiles were perfectly acceptable. One can only guess the infl uences that provoke such strong statements about what kind of behavior is appropriate at funerals. The lessons about death that are learned in the family are conveyed by actions as well as words. A woman now in her thirties tells the following story: ÒI remember a time when my mother ran over a cat. I wasnÕt with her in the car, but I recall my mother coming home and just totally falling apart. She ran into the bedroom and cried for hours. Since that time, IÕve been extremely conscientious about not killing anything. If thereÕs an insect on me or in my house, IÕll pick it up and carry it outside.Ó Parental attitudes, and the attitudes of other family members, shape the values and behaviors not only of the child but also of the adult that the child will become, and they infl uence how that adult conveys attitudes toward death to his or her own children. School and Peers Schools teach more than Òreading, Õriting, and Õrithmetic.Ó The social world of a child is dramatically broadened during the school years. Hobbies and sports also connect children to a community and a set of social norms. ÒThe scraps of lore which children learn from each other are at once more real, more immediately serviceable, and more vastly entertaining to them des35465_ch02_048-087.indd 69des35465_ch02_048-087.indd 691/17/14 3:49 PM1/17/14 3:49 PMFinal PDF to printer 70 chapter 2 Learning About Death: Socializationdes35465_ch02_048-087.indd 70des35465_ch02_048-087.indd 701/17/14 3:49 PM1/17/14 3:49 PMFinal PDF to printer Agents of Socialization 71 Figure 2-3 ChildrenÕs Drawings of a Funeral Instructed to draw a picture of a funeral, a sister (age ten) and brother (eight) did so. The ten-year-old, whose drawing is at the left, emphasizes the emotional responses of the survivors. We see the picture as if we are looking in (and down) upon their grief. The fi gures in the fi rst two pews have tears streaming down their faces, and one woman shouts, ÒNo!Ó At ten, this child refl ects on the sor- rowful and unwelcome nature of death. When questioned about the empty pews, she said they were for anyone who came late. The eight-year-oldÕs drawing (above) is viewed from a similar perspective (looking in and down at the scene). Here, we see the survivors grouped around a fl ag-draped and fl ower-bedecked coffi n. The fi gures are portrayed with smiles on their faces. The focus in this drawing is on the symbols of death (for exam-ple, the casket) and the ceremony rather than on the emotions. During the drawing session, the older sister commented that her brotherÕs picture was Òtoo happyÓ for a funeral scene. des35465_ch02_048-087.indd 71des35465_ch02_048-087.indd 711/17/14 3:49 PM1/17/14 3:49 PMFinal PDF to printer 72 chapter 2 Learning About Death: Socializationthan anything which they learn from grown-ups.Ó 68 Even before the school years, children enter the social world of their peer group as they play with other children of the same age and general social status. Recall how, in chas-ing games, a touch with the tip of a fi nger can have a noxious effect, as if the chaser were evil, magic, or diseased, and the touch was contagious. 69 Simi-larly, in songs and rhymes, children share death imagery, as in the classic ÒAs the Hearse Goes By,Ó which includes the lines Did you ever think as the hearse goes by That you may be the next to die? The worms crawl in, the worms crawl out, The worms play pinochle on your snout. With the broadening of a childÕs social network, there is an increase in learning about death. Later in life, educational and work settings, clubs and organizations, lei-sure pursuits, friends and neighbors, and so forth provide further opportuni-ties for peer groups and other social networks to exert a powerful infl uence on socialization through the life course. Mass Media and ChildrenÕs Literature Television, movies, radio, newspapers, magazines, books, CDs, DVDs, and the InternetÑthese media have a powerful socializing infl uence. Although the manner in which death-related content is presented in media intended for children can be evaluated as having both good and bad qualities, these Disregarding my warning about the toxin I had added to a little refl ecting pond behind our home because it was full of mosquito larvae, our son Mark carefully poured a jar of tadpoles into the little pond and watched all of them die in an instant. I heard his screams and ran outdoors to see what had happened. Huge tears were streaming down his face. I picked him up to check his body to see if he had any damage other than from watching all his little tadpoles fl oating with their white bellies in the air. He gasped deeply with his arms around my neck and sobbed, ÒDaddy . . . does this mean that IÕll die? Will you die, too, Daddy?Ó I did my best to assure him that I was not going to die then, nor would he, but that death was a part of our lives and he would certainly be cared for. And all of a sudden I was aware of what Gerard Manley Hopkins was saying so beautifully in his poem I had read years before. In ÒSpring and Fall: To a Young Child,Ó he was letting us know that children at an early age (Mark was about four years old) could fi rmly grasp the concept that everything that lives will ultimately die. During my training in child psychiatry I had been taught that children under the age of eight or nine could not grasp the concept of death. Mark was half that age and knew innately what my professors could not grasp, namely, that it is obvi- ous even to children that everything that lives will die. William M. Lamers, Jr. des35465_ch02_048-087.indd 72des35465_ch02_048-087.indd 721/17/14 3:49 PM1/17/14 3:49 PMFinal PDF to printer Agents of Socialization 73media still serve as avenues for learning about death. 70 Media messages com-municate cultural attitudes toward death to children, even when the message is not purposely directed to them, as with news reports of disasters. When President John F. Kennedy was assassinated, a classic study found that chil-dren tended to select from the details presented by the media those aspects that were consistent with their developmental concerns. 71 Younger children worried about the appearance of the presidentÕs body and the effects of the death on his family; older children expressed concerns about the impact of KennedyÕs death on the political system. Many classic childrenÕs stories and fairy tales depict death, near deaths, or the threat of death. 72 There are Òtales of children abandoned in woods; of daughters poisoned by their mothersÕ hands; of sons forced to betray their siblings; of men and women struck down by wolves, or imprisoned in window-less towers.Ó 73 Death has often had a place in childrenÕs literature, and this is especially true of the earliest versions of familiar stories that parents and other adults share with children. Elizabeth Lamers says, ÒAmerican children taught to read with textbooks such as McGuffeyÕs Eclectic Readers found that death was presented as tragic, but inevitable, and many of the death-related stories conveyed a moral lesson.Ó 74 In the nineteenth century, the violence in childrenÕs stories was usually graphic and gory so that it would make the desired moral impression. 75 Cultural values related to death are also presented in childrenÕs stories. Consider, for example, the contrasts between different versions of the tale of Little Red Riding Hood. One version, ÒPetite Rouge,Ó situates Riding Hood in the swamps and bayous of Louisiana, and another, ÒPretty Salma,Ó locates her in an African marketplace. 76 In the traditional version of the story, the wolf eats Little Red Riding Hood, but she is saved by a woodsman who kills Little Red Riding Hood . . . ÒDear me, Grandmamma, what great arms you have!Ó The wolf replied: ÒThey are so much better to hug you with, my child.Ó ÒWhy, Grandmamma, what great legs you have got!Ó ÒThat is to run the better, my child!Ó ÒBut, Grandmamma, what great ears youÕve got!Ó ÒThat is to hear the better, my child.Ó ÒBut, Grandmamma, what great eyes youÕve got!Ó ÒThey are so much better to see you with, my child.Ó Then the little girl, who was now very much frightened, said: ÒOh, Grand- mamma, what great teeth you have got!Ó ÒTHEY ARE THE BETTER TO EAT YOU UP!Ó With these words the wicked wolf fell upon Little Red Riding Hood and ate her up in a moment. Journeys Through Bookland, Volume One des35465_ch02_048-087.indd 73des35465_ch02_048-087.indd 731/17/14 3:49 PM1/17/14 3:49 PMFinal PDF to printer 74 chapter 2 Learning About Death: Socializationthe wolf and slits its stomach, allowing Little Red Riding Hood to emerge unharmed. In more recent versions, Little Red Riding HoodÕs screams alert the woodsman, who chases the wolf and then returns to announce that she will be bothered no more (the killing of the wolf occurs offstage and is not mentioned). 77 The Chinese tale of ÒLon Po PoÓ (ÒGranny WolfÓ) comes from an oral tradition thought to be over a thousand years old. In this version of the story, three young children are left by themselves while their mother goes away to visit their grandmother. The wolf, disguised as Po Po (Grand-mother), persuades the children to open the locked door of their house. When they do, he quickly blows out the light. By making perceptive inqui-ries, however, the oldest child cleverly discovers the wolfÕs true identity and, with her younger siblings, escapes to the top of a ginkgo tree. Through trickery, the children convince the wolf to step into a basket so that they can haul him up to enjoy the ginkgo nuts. Joining together, the children start hauling up the basket. But, just as it nearly reaches the top of the tree, they let the basket drop to the ground. The story says, ÒNot only did the wolf bump his head, but he broke his heart to pieces.Ó 78 Climbing down This grandmother and granddaughter read a story about loss as they share a special moment. Occasions for discussing death arise naturally out of our interactions with chil-dren. Often, the most important contribution an adult can make to a childÕs learning is simply to be a good listener. © Christine DeVaultdes35465_ch02_048-087.indd 74des35465_ch02_048-087.indd 741/17/14 3:49 PM1/17/14 3:49 PMFinal PDF to printer Agents of Socialization 75to the branches just above the wolf, the children discover that he is Òtruly dead.Ó Unlike the Western version, which has a solitary child facing the threat of the wolf by herself and ultimately being saved by someone else, the Chinese folk tale emphasizes the value of being part of a group effort to do away with the wolf. Some childrenÕs stories are written with the specifi c aim of answering their questions about dying and death. In many such books, especially those for young children, death is presented as part of the natural cycle. These stories express the idea that, like the transition from one season to the next, each ending in life is followed by renewal. In choosing a book to read with a younger child or suggesting one for an older reader, it is important to fi rst review the book yourself to evaluate how it presents information about death. Books should be appropriate for a particular situation. For example, When Dinosaurs Die: A Guide to Understanding Death was selected when one young boyÕs kindergarten teacher died unexpectedly. Each time he read and reread this book with his parents, he raised different questions about his teacherÕs death. Books are published on such topics as learning about and understand-ing death, the death of a parent, grandparent, sibling, and other relatives and friends, as well as pets (see Figure 2-4 at the end of this chapter for a selection of books about death for children and teens). It is also important to pay attention to the language the author uses to describe dying, death, and bereavement. Euphemisms such as Òclosure,Ó Òmov-ing on,Ó or Ògetting over the lossÓ may signal that an author is unfamiliar with the theories and insights that apply to understanding loss. A story that refers to death as sleep should raise a red fl ag about the ideas it is communicating to children. Straightforward words such as died, dead, sorrow, and funeral suggest the use of honest and accurate terminology. A book can give an adult and a child an opportunity to begin talking about each otherÕs experiences. Lullabies also contain themes of death and violence. 79 In every human culture and in every historical period, adults have sung to children. It is said that, with the fi rst lullaby a mother sings to her child, death education begins. 80 Consider the message in this well-known lullaby: Rockabye baby, in the treetops. When the wind blows, the cradle will rock. When the bough breaks, the cradle will fall. Down will come baby, cradle and all. Some lullabies are mourning songs, which describe the death or funeral of a child; others are threat songs that warn of violence if a child does not go to sleep or perform some other action in the expected manner. Of two hundred nursery rhymes examined in one study, about half described the wonder and beauty of life, whereas the other half dealt with the ways in which humans and animals die or are mistreated. 81 Death-related themes in these rhymes include accounts of murder, choking to death, tor-ment and cruelty, maiming, misery and sorrow, as well as stories of lost or abandoned children and depictions of poverty and want. des35465_ch02_048-087.indd 75des35465_ch02_048-087.indd 751/17/14 3:49 PM1/17/14 3:49 PMFinal PDF to printer 76 chapter 2 Learning About Death: Socialization Religion Contemplating oneÕs place in the universe is a crucial aspect of human development, and religions the world over have traditionally been a fertile avenue for such contemplation. Religion is not only a basis for morality and human relationships; it can also give meaning to life. 82 As a fundamental element of culture, religion and, more broadly, spirituality have the poten-tial to shape individual lives and personalities. 83 Many concepts central to religious traditions Òare not as opaque to young children as often thought.Ó 84 It has been noted that Òwhile more young people than ever claim to have no religion, there seems to be a growing interest in ÔspiritualityÕ among them.Ó 85 In the United States, more than 90 percent of the population is affi liated with a religious tradition. 86 These traditions are naturally part of a childÕs socialization. (The role of religion and religious belief is discussed in more detail in Chapter 14.) Teachable Moments In the course of their daily lives, opportunities abound for children to learn about dying and death. 87 Consider, for example, a mother who discovers her eleven-year-old son sitting at her new computer writing his will. Taken aback, she pauses for a moment as thoughts race through her head: Why is he writing a will? How did an eleven-year-old become interested in giving away his favor-ite treasures? Does he believe he is going to die soon? What should I do? What can I say? Gathering her courage, she cautiously adjusts her tone to suggest a neutral stance and asks, ÒWhat has made you think about writing a will?Ó Turning to her, the joy of accomplishment lighting up his face, the boy says, ÒI was looking at the menu on your computer and found Willmaker. The program came up, and all I have to do is fi ll in the blanks. ItÕs easy, see? Then I can print out my very own will.Ó Thus we encounter the concept of the teachable moment, a phrase used by educators to describe opportunities for learning that arise out of ordinary experiences. Because of their immediacy, such naturally occurring events are ideal for learning. The learnerÕs questions, enthusiasm, and motivation guide the educational process. If we assume that learning always fl ows in a single direction, from adult to child, we miss the quintessential quality of education as an interactive process. In the example of the young boy fi lling in the blanks of a computerized will-making program, the mother appears to occupy most clearly the role of the learner. She learns something about her sonÕs exploration of the new computer and, more important, she learns the crucial lesson of gathering information before reacting. Suppose this mother, acting out of initial shock at her sonÕs apparent interest in death, had hastily responded, ÒStop that! Children shouldnÕt be thinking about wills or about dying!Ó A lesson about death would surely be taught, but it wouldnÕt promote a healthy understanding. It is useful to ask, What is being taught? Does the ÒteachingÓ result from a conscious design? Or is it unintentionally conveying unhealthy messages about death? des35465_ch02_048-087.indd 76des35465_ch02_048-087.indd 761/17/14 3:49 PM1/17/14 3:49 PMFinal PDF to printer Teachable Moments 77 LetÕs return to our story of the mother and son. Having elicited informa-tion without acting on her initial anxiety, the mother can use this conversa-tion as an opportunity to discuss death with her son. She might call attention to the entry for ÒDesignated Guardian for Minor Children,Ó informing her son about the steps she has taken to ensure his well-being (ÒDid I tell you that Aunt Martha and Uncle John are listed in my will as your guardians?Ó) as well as responding to his concerns (ÒNo, I do not intend to die for a long timeÓ). They might spend a few minutes talking about other aspects of death and how people prepare for it. An atmosphere of openness is promoted as information is exchanged between adult and child. Much learning can take place in a brief conversation. Teachable moments are often defi ned in the context of unplanned or unexpected occurrences, but it is useful to recognize that parents, educa-tors, and other adults can intentionally create situations that encourage such opportunities for learning about death. 88 There is no rule that we must wait until such events happen spontaneously. Indeed, in the example given earlier, the mother used her sonÕs experience with the computer pro-gram as a way of introducing their subsequent discussion about death. Simi-larly, in fi lms produced for children, death is frequently part of the plot, and this can lead to a natural discussion about how grief, for example, is portrayed among the various characters. 89 The key to making the most of such opportunities is adequate preparation by trusted adults in the childÕs environment. Teachable moments take place not only between adults and children but also between adults. While on an airplane trip, an executive for a large cor-poration engaged one of this bookÕs authors in conversation. Upon learn-ing the subject of this textbook, his tone changed a bit as he said, ÒCould I ask your opinion on a personal matter?Ó The question involved a family dispute about whether the manÕs fi ve-year-old son should attend his grand-fatherÕs burial ceremony at Arlington National Cemetery. He was concerned that the military ceremonyÑwith uniforms, soldiers, and a twenty-one-gun saluteÑwould frighten his son. After he shared additional information about his family and child, suggestions were offered about ways that parental sup-port could be provided to the child during the funeral rites. Hearing these suggestions made it possible for the man to reconsider his earlier decision to Recently my seven-year-old son hopped in my lap and we watched the evening news together. The concluding line of a report on environmental pollution was a quote from U.N. scientists predicting that in twenty years the world would be un- inhabitable. As the TV switched to a Madison Avenue jingle designed to encour- age us to purchase a non-greasy hair tonic, my son turned to me with a terribly small voice and asked: ÒDad, how old will I be when we all die?Ó Robert D. Barr, The Social Studies Professional des35465_ch02_048-087.indd 77des35465_ch02_048-087.indd 771/17/14 3:49 PM1/17/14 3:49 PMFinal PDF to printer 78 chapter 2 Learning About Death: Socializationexclude the child. With specifi c recommendations in hand, he decided that his son should be present at his grandfatherÕs funeral. You do not have to be the author of a textbook to offer information that is helpful to people who are coping with death-related issues. In reading this book, you will gain infor-mation that can be appropriately shared. The Death of a Companion Animal One mother described the responses of her daughters to the deaths of a new litter of baby rabbits. 90 Upon learning the news, the seven-year-old burst into tears and howled, ÒI donÕt want them dead.Ó The fi ve-year-old at fi rst stood silently and then asked to call her father at work. She told him, ÒIf you had been here, Daddy, you could have been the rabbitsÕ doctor,Ó refl ecting a belief, appropriate for her age, that it should have been possible somehow to save the baby rabbits or restore them to life. Later, when the children began to dig a grave to bury the dead rabbits, the seven-year-old stopped crying for the fi rst time since learning the news, while the fi ve-year-old kept repeating, ÒThe baby rabbits are dead, the baby rabbits are dead,Ó in a monotone. In the days following the rabbitsÕ deaths, the girls asked many ques-tions. The seven-year-old was particularly interested in questioning a family friend, who was a widow, about her dead husband. How often did she think about him, and why did people have to be taken away from those who loved them, she wanted to know. The fi ve-year-old, meanwhile, continued to mourn silently until her mother encouraged her to express her feelings. Then she began to sob. Finally, she said, ÒIÕm glad IÕm only fi ve; you only die when youÕre old.Ó The younger childÕs fi rst concern was for herself, the fear that she her-self could die. The older child worried about the durability of relationships. Although each child had a distinctive response to the loss, both children showed a need to be close to their parents during the days following the deaths of the rabbits, and they told the story of the rabbitsÕ deaths again and again as they dealt with their experience. Adults may wonder how best to help a child cope with the death of a beloved pet. Should one minimize the loss? Obtain a replacement animal? Or should the death be seen as a natural opportunity to help the child con-sider what death means and explore his or her feelings about the loss? ÒPets, whose lives are shorter than [those of] humans, can teach children about the life cycle, including loss.Ó 91 Of course, it is not only children who are affected by the death of a pet. Kelly McCutcheon and Stephen Fleming point out that Òthe loss of a pet often involves responsibility for life and death which can make grieving espe-cially diffi cult. When a pet is seriously ill, the owner is faced with the major decision of whether the petÕs life is worth continuing or if the pet should be euthanized.Ó 92 des35465_ch02_048-087.indd 78des35465_ch02_048-087.indd 781/17/14 3:49 PM1/17/14 3:49 PMFinal PDF to printer The Death of a Companion Animal 79 Pets can mean many different things to their Òpet parents.Ó 93 For some people, a pet is viewed as a best friend. A pet may be a bridge to the past, a reminder of happier times or of poignant events. A pet can be a source of support during a loss or other times of stress. For people who are coping with serious illness, a pet may be both a source of comfort and a reason for living. As has been wisely said, ÒThe unique bond with a particular pet can never be duplicated.Ó 94 We may bond again with another pet, but we can never replace the one lost. Barbara Ambros writes about the changing view of animal spirits in Japan, where pets who had died were regarded as recently as the mid-1990s as becoming vengeful, threatening spirits and now a decade or so later are viewed as loving, faithful spiritual companions. Ambros says, ÒPets are often buried and memorialized with rites due to a family member,Ó noting that many pet owners Òseem to have a strong urge to perpetuate the bond that they felt with their pet even after the petÕs death.Ó 95 A similar transition, albeit without the occult overtones, is found in an account by Michelle Linn-Gust, describing how the role of dogs in families has shifted from hunting and pro-tection to ÒmembershipÓ in the family. 96 The strong attachment felt toward an animal companion is shown in this homemade tomb-stone and burial plot. Experiencing grief and memorializing a beloved pet are natural accompaniments to such a loss. © Albert Lee Stricklanddes35465_ch02_048-087.indd 79des35465_ch02_048-087.indd 791/17/14 3:49 PM1/17/14 3:49 PMFinal PDF to printer 80 chapter 2 Learning About Death: Socialization A woman described the reaction of her husband to the death of Iggy, a desert iguana. 97 When the iguana died, her husband Òcried throughout the shoebox burial in the backyard.Ó He later said that he was crying Òfor every pet he had ever loved and lost.Ó The death of a pet can evoke numbness and disbelief, preoccupation with the loss, being drawn toward reminders of the pet, anger, depression, and the whole range of mental and emotional quali-ties associated with grief following a signifi cant loss. Rather than viewing a pet as a possession, many people feel that a pet is not only a companion but Òpart of the family.Ó 98 Those who counsel individuals who are grieving over the loss of a pet emphasize that feelings should be expressed by adults as well as children. The circumstances of an animalÕs death can infl uence the grief reaction; for instance, the loss of a pet whose death occurred because of an accident may result in grief of longer duration than that of a pet who died a natural or even a euthanized death. 99 ÒPet parentsÓ may experience feelings of guilt and direct responsibility for a companion animalÕs death by euthanasia; after all, the animal cannot communicate a wish to die explicitly through language in the way humans can in a living will or other advance directive. When a decision is made to euthanize an animal, some experts advise informing children about the process. 100 They can be told that the animal is in the process of dying and that the veterinarian will assist in this pro-cess by giving an injection that helps the pet die without suffering. Chil-dren should also be told that this injection is a powerful medicine that is given only to animals, so the child will not fear getting a vaccination or other injection. Although attachments between humans and pets can be very strong, mourning the loss of a pet sometimes elicits ridicule, or worse. After Hur-ricane Katrina, some people in authority were unconcerned about stranded companion animals and did not consider them important. Reportedly, rather than argue with survivors about saving a family dog, some local authorities simply shot pets, disregarding the fact that many people who live with an animal consider it important enough to risk their own personal safety to keep a pet from harm. 101 It has been observed that Òvictims of disaster are often accidentally or forcibly separated from their pets, sometimes permanently, just at the time they need one another most.Ó 102 People sometimes say that the bereaved pet ownerÕs grief is excessive or that itÕs an overreaction. After all, ÒIt was only an animal, a mere pet.Ó However, as Allan Kellehear and Jan Fook point out, ÒDespite the popular tendency in some quarters to trivialize such loss, the general literature on petÐhuman relations portrays bereaved owners as every bit as beset with the same power and range of emotions as for other kinds of human loss.Ó 103 In many parts of the country, pet cemeteries exist, and they provide options for the fi nal disposition of a companion animalÕs remains. The Gate-way Pet Cemetery located in Southern California, for example, offers both burial and cremation. Veterinary schools can be good sources of information des35465_ch02_048-087.indd 80des35465_ch02_048-087.indd 801/17/14 3:49 PM1/17/14 3:49 PMFinal PDF to printer The Mature Concept of Death Revisited 81about disposition options as well as about end-of-life care of companion ani-mals, including Òhospice care for pets.Ó 104 When the bond between an animal and its carer is broken by death, the signifi cance of that loss should be recognized as a natural occasion for mourning. 105 This is true for adults as well as children. Cheri Barton Ross explains, A child might decide to wear the catÕs collar to feel close to a cat that has died. Some children choose to cuddle or sleep with the petÕs bedding. One woman shared that she saved her dogÕs collar and wore it as a garterÑfor something blueÑunder her wedding gown in honor of the dog with whom she had grown up. 106 Suffi cient time for mourning the loss should be allowed before a new animal is acquired. ÒFor some owners, grieving may be facilitated by the presence of another pet, but for others, replacement may never be appro-priate.Ó 107 The right time for another pet is likely to be when grief has been integrated suffi ciently to enable one to reinvest emotionally in a new pet. As Avery Weisman observes, ÒThe depth of a humanÐanimal bond often exceeds that between a person and close kith and kin.Ó 108 The Mature Concept of Death Revisited The process of socialization is complex and ongoing. With new experiences of loss and death, we modify previously held beliefs, exchanging them for new ones that provide a better fi t with our current understanding of death and its meaning in our lives. A ÒmatureÓ concept of death, acquired dur-ing childhood, becomes a foundation for further development in adult-hood. 109 Sandor Brent and Mark Speece note that a basic understanding of death is Òthe stable nucleus, or core, of a connotational sphere that the child continues to enrich and elaborate throughout the remainder of life by the addition of all kinds of exceptions, conditions, questions, doubts, and so forth.Ó Instead of the Òneat, clean, sharply delineated concepts of formal I like especially the small town cemeteries of America where the children come for picnics and games, as we did when I was growing upÑwandering among the stones on our own, with no adults about, to regard the mystery and inevitability of death, on its terms and ours. I remember we would watch the funerals from afar in a hushed awe, and I believe that was when I became obsessed not with death itself but with the singular community of death and life togetherÑand lifeÕs secrets, lifeÕs fears, lifeÕs surprises. Willie Morris, Shifting Interludes des35465_ch02_048-087.indd 81des35465_ch02_048-087.indd 811/17/14 3:49 PM1/17/14 3:49 PMFinal PDF to printer 82 chapter 2 Learning About Death: Socializationscientifi c theories of reality,Ó the end result of this process may be a kind of ÒfuzzyÓ concept that acknowledges the reality of death while leaving room for elaborations about its meaning. Thus, the binary, either-or logic that young children use to grasp the core components of a mature concept of death is a precursor to the greater sophistication in understanding death that comes later in life. 110 David Plath says, We are born alone and we die alone, each an organism genetically unique. But we mature or decline together: In the company of others we mutually domesticate the wild genetic pulse as we go about shaping ourselves into persons after the vision of our groupÕs heritage. Perhaps the growth and aging of an organism can be described well enough in terms of stages and transitions within the individual as a monad entity. But in a social animal the life courses have to be described in terms of a collective fabricating of selves, a mutual building of biographies. 111 It is said that the single most important thing one can do to infl uence the development of an infant is to Òdecide where on earthÑin what human communityÑthat infant is going to grow up.Ó 112 Understanding ourselves as cultural beings, we are better able to understand others as cultural beings. Even though we identify (or are identifi ed by others) with a particular group, we are also individuals who sometimes do things our own way. Psychologists tell us that every person is composed of Òmultiple identitiesÓ and that the abil-ity to manage different identities is an important aspect of the self. 113 Culture does not determine behavior but, rather, gives us a Òrepertoire of ideas and possible actionsÓ through which we understand ourselves, our environment, and our experiences. 114 Albert Bandura says, ÒTheorists who approach human development from a life-span perspective treat the environment not as a situational entity, but as a varied succession of life events that differ in their power to affect the direc-tion lives take.Ó 115 The social circles in which one moves, the kinds of people who populate those settings make some types of ÒintersectsÓ more probable than others. Bandura cites the example of a child living in a crime-ridden neighborhood as being likely to experience chance encounters quite differ-ent from those experienced by a child residing at a prep school. Take a moment to consider your own circumstances. Do you live in a rural, urban, or small-town environment? What region of the country do you live in, the North, East, South, or West? Was your school environment ethni-cally and religiously diverse, or was it not? Your response to death is likely to be infl uenced by such factors. Life experiences are powerful in shaping a personÕs attitudes and beliefs about death. A person may not become fully aware of the impact of childhood experiences with death until adulthood. A ten-year-oldÕs agonized phrase, ÒItÕs sickening, donÕt talk about it!Ó can sur-vive into adulthood. des35465_ch02_048-087.indd 82des35465_ch02_048-087.indd 821/17/14 3:49 PM1/17/14 3:49 PMFinal PDF to printer The Mature Concept of Death Revisited 83 Books for Younger Children Cathy Blanford. Something Happened. Illustrated by Phyllis Childers. Western Springs, Ill.: Cathy Blan-ford, 2008. A clearly illustrated book that discusses pregnancy loss in language easy for young chil-dren to understand. Also has information for grieving parents to help their children. Ages 3Ð7. Marc Brown. When Dinosaurs Die: A Guide to Understanding Death. Illustrated by Laurie Krasny Brown. Boston: Little, Brown, 1996. This cartoon-like book offers comfort and reassurance to children by addressing their fears about death, explaining in simple language the feelings people may have when a loved one dies and ways of remembering someone who has died. Ages 3Ð8. Margaret Wise Brown. The Dead Bird. Illustrated by Remy Charlip. New York: Morrow, 2004. A simple story in which children fi nd a dead bird and conduct a funeral and burial. Ages 4Ð8. Bill Cochran. The Forever Dog. Illustrated by Dan Andreasen. New York: HarperCollins, 2007. Mike makes a Forever Plan with his dog Corky to be best friends forever; it works beautifully until Corky dies unexpectedly. In his grief, Mike is angry at Corky for breaking his promise. With his motherÕs help, Mike realizes the Forever Plan is going to work differently. Corky will be in his heart forever. Ages 4Ð8. Bill Cosby. The Day I Saw My Father Cry. Illustrated by Varnette P. Honeywood. New York: Scholastic, 2000. The sudden death of a family friend brings lessons in experiencing and expressing grief. Ages 4Ð10. Mary Newell DePalma. A Grand Old Tree. New York: A. A. Levine, 2005. Clearly illustrated easy-reader picture book about the life cycle. The grand old tree slowly crumbles and becomes part of the earth. The roots of her "grandchildren" sink deep into the earth and are home to many creatures. Ages 4Ð8. DyAnne DiSalvo-Ryan. A Dog Like Jack. New York: Holiday House, 2001. Story of loving and losing an aged pet. An epilogue contains suggestions for parents about pet loss. Ages 4Ð8. Joan Drescher. The Moon Balloon: A Journey of Hope and Discovery for Children and Families. Waltham, Mass.: Arvest Press, 2005. A colorful book about hot-air balloons, each of which contains a feeling that a child might have when coping with change. Examples of the balloons include the angry bal-loon, the tear balloon, the stress balloon, the love balloon, and the giggle balloon. Gives children an opportunity to draw or write about their feelings and offers helpful tips for adults. Ages 6Ð11. Wolf Erlbruch. Duck, Death and the Tulip. Wellington, New Zealand: Gecko Press, 2008. With a gor-geously drawn colored-pencil style, this book explores a relationship between a duck and Death. The duck becomes friends with Death; they go to the pond where Death (drawn as a clothed skull) becomes chilled. Duck offers to warm Death, spreading her body and feathers over Death. When Duck wakes in the morning, she is still alive and the story continues until the seasons change and she becomes chilled, dying in the night. Death carries her to the great river, places a tulip on her breast. ÒFor a long time he watched her. When she was lost to sight, he was almost a little moved. But thatÕs life, thought Death.Ó A good book to demystify death and begin a discus-sion. Ages 4Ðup. Anne Fontaine. Ocho Loved Flowers. Illustrated by Obadinah. Seattle: Stoneleigh Press, 2007. A story about Annie and her cat Ocho. Ocho becomes ill and the veterinarian tells Annie and her mom that Ocho has only one month to live. During OchoÕs last month, Annie learns how to help her mom care for him. After Ocho dies, Annie buys fl owers in memory of Ocho. Ages 4Ð8. (continued)Figure 2-4 Books About Death for Children and TeensPrepared with the assistance of Dr. Carol F. Berns, cofounder of the ChildrenÕs Bereavement Center, Miami, Florida. Additional resources can be found on The Last Dance website.des35465_ch02_048-087.indd 83des35465_ch02_048-087.indd 831/17/14 3:49 PM1/17/14 3:49 PMFinal PDF to printer 84 chapter 2 Learning About Death: SocializationBooks for Younger Children (continued) Eiko Kadono. GrandpaÕs Soup. Illustrated by Satomi Ichikawa. Grand Rapids, Mich.: Eerdmans, 1999. After GrandmaÕs death, Grandpa fi xes her soup recipe for his friends, including his mice friends. Ages 4Ð8. Laurie A. Kanyer. 25 Things to Do When Grandpa Passes Away, Mom and Dad Get Divorced, or the Dog Dies. Seattle: Parenting Press, 2004. Offers education to parents or other adults who are working with grieving children. The second half of the book describes twenty-fi ve activities to help children experiencing loss, including art and craft activities as well as high-energy outdoor activities. Ages 6Ð11. Essie Lafl amme. Caring for Mama Bear: A Story of Love. Illustrated by Marie Crane-Yvon. Naples, Fla.: Quality of Life Publishing. 2010. Despite her declining health, Mama BearÕs days are sprinkled with laughter, family, and love thanks to her sons the Brother Bears. Mama BearÕs last weeks are spent at a Hospice House and she is comfortable and feels loved. This story is good for families served by hospice and includes tips and resources for parents. Ages 7Ð10. Marisol Munoz-Kiehne. Since My Brother Died: Desde que Murio Mi Hermano. Illustrated by Susanna Pitzer. Omaha, Neb.: Centering Corporation. 2008. A young boy talks about how his life has changed since his brotherÕs death, yet he is comforted knowing that he will always love and remember him. The boyÕs journey is told in English and Spanish and the book includes a resource for parents and professionals. Ages 5Ð12. Ellen Sabin. The Healing Book. New York: Watering Can Press, 2006. A memory book fi lled with page after page of opportunities for children to work through grief-related feelings as well as remember the person who died. Excellent tool for adults working with grieving children. Ages 6Ð13. Harold Ivan Smith and Joy Johnson. What Does That Mean? Omaha, Neb.: Centering Corporation, 2006. A dictionary of death, dying, and grief terms for children. Offers age-appropriate defi nitions of words that grieving children hear but may not understand. Ages 6Ð12. Patricia Smith. Janna and the Kings. Illustrated by Aaron Boyd. New York: Lee and Low Books, Inc., 2003. A tender story of Janna, an African American girl, who spends Saturdays with her grand-father and his buddies, the Kings. When Granddaddy dies, Janna is devastated. But when his old friends welcome her, they talk and share memories and she feels his love once again. Ages 5 and up. Pat Thomas. I Miss You: A First Look at Death. Illustrated by Lesley Harker. Hauppauge, N.Y.: BarronÕs, 2001. "Every day someone is born and every day someone dies" begins this frank and sensitive look at death, including how people die, funerals, a survivorÕs feelings, and how people of differ-ent cultures engage in death rituals. Ages 4Ð8. E. B. White. CharlotteÕs Web. Illustrated by Garth Williams. New York: Harper & Row, 1952. Classic story describes grief experienced at the death of a close friendÑCharlotte, a spiderÑand the continu-ing of life through her offspring. Ages 3Ðup. Jeanette Winter. September Roses. New York: Farrar, Straus & Giroux, 2004. South African sisters who raise roses come to New York on September 11, 2001. Addresses the sorrow of the terrorist attack and the response of those living through the disaster. A picture book, although not one a child can read because the text is in cursive. Ages 4Ð8. Harriet Ziefert. Ode to Humpty Dumpty. Illustrated by Seymour Chwast. New York: Houghton Miff-lin, 2001. The ultimate book for understanding rituals. A town comes together to memorialize HumptyÕs death. Ages 5Ð13. des35465_ch02_048-087.indd 84des35465_ch02_048-087.indd 841/17/14 3:49 PM1/17/14 3:49 PMFinal PDF to printer The Mature Concept of Death Revisited 85 Books for Older Children and Teens The Dougy Center (Portland, Ore.). After a Death: An Activity Book for Children/DespuŽs de un fallecimiento, 2007; After a Murder: A Workbook for Grieving Kids, 2002; After a Suicide: A Workbook for Grieving Kids, 2001. Interactive workbooks in which children learn from other children who have experienced a death. These workbooks encourage children to express their thoughts and feelings through a variety of activities, including drawings, puzzles, word games, helpful stories, and advice from other kids and adults. Ages 9Ðup. Dina Friedman. Playing DadÕs Song. New York: Farrar, Straus & Giroux, 2006. When Gus was nine, his father died in the attack on the World Trade Center. Gus struggles with missing his father and, at the same time, does not want anyone to ask him about his father. He feels isolated because he is the only person he knows who had a parent die on 9/11. He uses music for comfort and to honor the memory of his father. Ages 9Ð12. Carole Geitner. If Only. New York: Scholastic Press, 2012. Corinna, a typical eighth grader, whose mother has just died of cancer, gives voice to her experiences of loss, grief, relationships with friends, and other teen concerns in this sensitive and honest book. Ages 12 and up. Marc Gellman and Thomas Hartman. Bad Stuff in the News: A Guide to Handling the Headlines. New York: SeaStar Books, 2002. After seeing a big offi ce building crash to the ground or seeing kids shooting other kids at school, you might think the world is so scary that the only safe place is hiding under your bed. Written to help kids understand and cope with dangers in the world. Includes terrorism, kids killing kids, disasters (both natural and human caused), death through abuse, dangerous sports, diseases that kill, and more. Simple and easy to read. Ages 10Ð13. Earl Grollman and Joy Johnson. A Complete Book About Death for Kids. Omaha, Neb.: Centering Cor-poration, 2006. Comprehensive information to help explain death to older children. Complex concepts are clearly defi ned. Written in easy-to-understand language. Ages 9Ð12. Amy Hest. Remembering Mrs. Rossi. Illustrated by Heather Maione. Somerville, Mass.: Candlewick Press, 2007. Annie Rossi is eight years old when her mother, a sixth-grade teacher, dies. Her father does his best to do all of the things that AnnieÕs mom did, but no one can replace AnnieÕs mom. Annie is helped when her motherÕs class creates a special memory book about her (included at the end of this novel). With few books addressing the death of a mother, this one is a standout. Ages 9Ð12. Gloria Horsley and Heidi Horsley. Teen Grief Relief. Highland City, Fla.: Rainbow Books, 2007. Informa-tion for teens and their parents about ways grieving teens can be helped. Easy to read. Includes vignettes from teens who have "been there," as well as activities teens can do to cope with feelings of sadness, anger, and guilt. Ages 12Ðup. Carrie Stark Hugus. Crossing 13: A Memoir of a FatherÕs Suicide. Denver: Affi rm Publications, 2008. A teen-age girl discovers her father dead from suicide. Young survivors will identify with and benefi t from understanding that their confusing, and often frightening, grief responses are normal. Ages 12Ðup. Davida Wills Hurwin. A Time for Dancing. New York: Puffi n, 1997; reissued 2009. In this powerful novel about how terminal illness affects the lives of friends and others around them, two teenage girls who have been best friends since childhood face mortality when one is diagnosed with histiocytic lymphoma, a deadly cancer. Ages 12 and up. Amy Goldman Koss. Side Effects. New Milford, Conn.: Roaring Brook Press, 2006. The story of teenage IzzyÕs bout with cancer. Excellently detailed view of IzzyÕs and her familyÕs coping mechanisms. Teens will identify with her, whether they or someone they know has cancer or they are just curi-ous about life-threatening illness. Ages 9Ð12. (continued)des35465_ch02_048-087.indd 85des35465_ch02_048-087.indd 851/17/14 3:49 PM1/17/14 3:49 PMFinal PDF to printer 86 chapter 2 Learning About Death: Socialization Books for Older Children and Teens (continued) Erika Leeuwenburgh and Ellen Goldring. Why Did You Die: Activities to Help Children Cope with Grief and Loss. Oakland, Calif.: Instant Help Books, 2008. Offers detailed, helpful activities for children who have experienced a death. The fi rst part of the book offers practical information for parents and other adults to help a grieving child. The second half of the book has activities to help griev-ing children. Ages 9 and up. Wendy Mass. Jeremy Fink and the Meaning of Life. New York: Little, Brown, 2006. When Jeremy was eight, his father died in a car accident. A few months before he turns thirteen, he receives a mysteri-ous wooden box in the mail that his father had created for him before his death. According to JeremyÕs father, this box contained the Meaning of Life. There is only one problem: There are no keys! Jeremy spends the summer fi nding the keys to unlock this precious gift from his beloved father. Ages 9Ð12. Sheryl McFarlane. The Smell of Paint. Brighton, Mass.: Fitzhenry & Whiteside, 2006. Story of Jess, a high school freshman, whose mother is diagnosed with incurable bone cancer. Jess tries to deal with her motherÕs illness by herself, not wanting even her closest friends to know. Explores JessÕs complicated relationship with her dying mother. Ages 12 and up. Katherine Paterson. Bridge to Terabithia. Illustrations by Donna Diamond. New York: HarperTrophy, 1987; reissued HarperTeen, 2009. In this Newberry award winner, fi fth grader JessÕs rural world expands when he meets his new neighbor, a tomboy named Leslie. They become best friends and create a secret kingdom in the woods named Terabithia. When Leslie drowns, JessÕs life is changed forever. Ages 11 and up. Lila Perl. Dying To Know: About Death, Funeral Customs, and Final Resting Places. Brookfi eld, Conn.: Twenty-First Century Books, 2001. This small book uses photographs and text to acquaint the reader with death customs and practices in the United States and other parts of the world. Orga-nized into sections that address attitudes and practices from different religions and countries, as well as historical information. Ages 12Ð18. Margo Rabb. Cures for Heartbreak. New York: Random House, 2008. This book deals with grief and typical teen issues in a straightforward manner with wit and wisdom and a dabbling of sarcasm. Fifteen-year-old Mia Perlman struggles to make sense of her motherÕs death, her fatherÕs illness, and her relationship with her sister. MiaÕs voice and those of the other characters are genuine, powerful, and raw. Ages 14 and up. Jordan Sonnenblick. Drums, Girls, and Dangerous Pie. New York: Scholastic, 2006. Jeffery is diagnosed with leukemia. Big brother protector Steven says, "So how come when I wasnÕt looking Jeffy got cancer." Written in the voice of the older sibling, the story touches on many aspects of living with life-threatening illness, including the strain put on his entire family. Ages 11Ð14. Staff of the New York Times. A Nation Challenged: A Visual History of 9/11 and Its Aftermath (Young Read-erÕs Edition). New York: Scholastic, 2002. Combines stories published in the newspaper and Pulit-zer Prize-winning photographs to present an account of terrifying events in an age-appropriate fashion. Ages 9Ð14. Peter Lane Taylor and Nicola Christos. The Secret of PriestÕs Grotto: A Holocaust Survival Story. Minneapo-lis: Kar-Ben, 2007. Remarkable story of the survival of Jewish families who lived in a gypsum cave called Popwa Yama in the Ukraine for 344 days to escape the Gestapo. Includes excerpts from the privately published memoir of Esther Stermer, We Fight to Survive, that recount the dark epochÑthe darkness being both literal and fi gurative. Ages 9Ð12. des35465_ch02_048-087.indd 86des35465_ch02_048-087.indd 861/17/14 3:49 PM1/17/14 3:49 PMFinal PDF to printer Further Readings 87 Terry Trueman. Hurricane: A Novel. New York: HarperCollins, 2008. JosŽ, from La Rupa, Honduras, tells the story of surviving a disastrous hurricane. JosŽ narrates the story of his life before and after the hurricane. Ages 9Ð12. Jamie Lee Wheeler. Weird Is Normal When Teenagers Grieve. Naples, Fla.: Quality of Life Publishing. 2010. Jenny is compelling and forthright as she speaks of her fatherÕs illness and death when she was fourteen years old. Her sage words and style are rich beyond her years, making this book an excellent resource for teens and adults. At the end of each chapter are bullet points for easy read-ing and suggestions. Ages 12 and up. Kazumi Yumoto. The Friends. Translated by Cathy Hirano. New York: Farrar, Straus & Giroux, 1996; reissued, 2005. In a story that is both universal and rooted in the country and culture from which it comes, three young boysÕ fascination with death leads them to form an unexpected friendship with an old man through which they confront their fears and learn to accept the inevitable with a sense of joy in life. Ages 9 and up. Nan Zastrow. Ask Me . . . 30 Things I Want You to Know: How to be a Friend to a Survivor of Suicide. Omaha, Neb.: Centering Corporation, 2008. Straightforward book about helping survivors of suicide. These tips will assist family members and friends of survivors when they are at a loss as to how to help. Ages 16 and up. Further Readings David Clark, ed. The Sociology of Death: Theory, Culture, Practice. Cambridge, Mass.: Blackwell, 1993. Lynn Schofi eld Clark. From Angels to Aliens: Teenagers, the Media, and the Supernatural. New York: Oxford University Press, 2003. Lynne Ann DeSpelder and Albert Lee Strickland. ÒCulture, Socialization, and Death Education.Ó In Handbook of Thanatology, 2nd ed., ed. David K. Meagher and David E. Balk, 323Ð331. New York: Routledge, 2013. Patricia H. Miller. Theories of Developmental Psychology, 4th ed. New York: Worth, 2002. Clive F. Seale. Constructing Death: The Sociology of Dying and Bereavement. Cambridge: Cambridge University Press, 1998. Additional resources for this chapter can be found at www.mhhe.com/despelder10e . des35465_ch02_048-087.indd 87des35465_ch02_048-087.indd 871/17/14 3:49 PM1/17/14 3:49 PMFinal PDF to printer In this celebration of D’a de los Muertos, or Day of the Dead, held in a California community, a child enters into the festivities by drawing a skull, an activity that reinforces her identity as a participant in age-old traditions that mark her cultureÕs particular attitudes and behaviors relative to death. In pluralistic societies, such celebrations both perpetuate cultural traditions and allow them to be shared with people from the wider community, who may choose to adopt elements of those traditions in their own lives, thereby creating a distinctive sense of local identity with respect to death-related customs and practices. © Patrick Dean des35465_ch03_088-137.indd 88des35465_ch03_088-137.indd 881/17/14 3:52 PM1/17/14 3:52 PMFinal PDF to printer 2/11/23, 10:28 AMQuiz - -PSY 349.02 Special Topics in Social Psychology - Spring 2023 - Stony Brook Universityhttps://mycourses.stonybrook.edu/d2l/le/content/367013/viewContent/14571755/View1/6Question 1 (Mandatory) (0.592 points)SavedQuestion 2 (Mandatory) (0.588 points)SavedQuestion 3 (Mandatory) (0.588 points)SavedQuestion 4 (Mandatory) (0.588 points)Saved In the context of this chapter, what is universality? In the context of this chapter, what is irreversibility? In the context of this chapter, what is nonfunctionality? In the context of this chapter, what is causality?Knowing how everything in life fits togetherKnowing that every living thing must eventually dieKnowing how all cultures tend to perform certain social actsKnowing that everyone must to reconcile their place in the universeKnowing that death is finalKnowing how undo one s past mistakesKnowing how to reverse the steps in a procedureKnowing that actions can t be undoneKnowing that, once broken, components of a body will slowly healKnowing that, at death, all components of a body cease to workKnowing that, at death, components of the body degrade at different ratesKnowing that, once started, all bodily components will work until deathKnowing how social relationships are changed by deathKnowing that brain functions lead to cognitive processesKnowing how one thing influence anotherKnowing that death has a biological cause 2/11/23, 10:28 AMQuiz - -PSY 349.02 Special Topics in Social Psychology - Spring 2023 - Stony Brook Universityhttps://mycourses.stonybrook.edu/d2l/le/content/367013/viewContent/14571755/View2/6Question 5 (Mandatory) (0.588 points)SavedQuestion 6 (Mandatory) (0.588 points)SavedQuestion 7 (Mandatory) (0.588 points)SavedQuestion 8 (Mandatory) (0.588 points) Which of the following children exhibit personal mortality? When does the process of developing a mature concept of death generally occur in childhood? Which of the following statements about understanding of death throughout the lifespan is true? Match the following examples with the most likely stage they are in, according to Erikson's theory.Winston, who, during his uncle s funeral, poked the body to see it if would moveAmalia, who, before her grandfather s funeral, asks if she can play with her grandpa whenthey get thereStephani, who, during her aunt s funeral, feels sad when she sees all the people cryingJaviar, who, after his grandmother s funeral, explained that he will die someday, tooBetween 18 months and 2 yearsBetween 2 and 4 yearsBetween 5 and 10 yearsBetween 8 and 15 yearsThe order of developing understanding is more important than when understanding isdevelopedThe stages of development are very firm and little overlap is expectedIt can take many decades for a person to truly grasp the concept of personal mortalityDeveloping understanding is necessary before a person starts a family 2/11/23, 10:28 AMQuiz - -PSY 349.02 Special Topics in Social Psychology - Spring 2023 - Stony Brook Universityhttps://mycourses.stonybrook.edu/d2l/le/content/367013/viewContent/14571755/View3/61.2.3.4.5.6.7.8.A toddler begins assertingpersonal control over physicaltasks by insisting that she puton her shoes herself. A preschooler starts to assertcontrol over the environmentdirectly around him(surrounding his physical body)by demanding to dress himself.Although the outfits rarelymatch, his parents support(rather than teasing and makinghim feel guilty) this as longas his outfits are appropriate forconditions (temperature,setting). A child begins asking aboutsome of the bigger questions inlife, but is frustrated thatnobody will answer him A young adult has dated manydifferent men in the past fewyears, but hasn t foundsomeone with whom he feelshe has a very strongconnection An adult has a well-paying jobthat she is happy with andregularly donates her moneyand time to local charitiesAn adolescent is having troubledeciding between college andcareer choices based onconflicting narratives betweenwhat she wants to be and whather family wants her to beAn infant learns that her crieswill be met with food and herparents comfortAnolderadultsgrandchildrenidentity vs. confusiongenerativity vs. stagnationindustry vs. inferiorityautonomy vs. shametrust vs. mistrustinitiative vs. guiltintegrity vs. despairintimacy vs. isolation 2/11/23, 10:28 AMQuiz - -PSY 349.02 Special Topics in Social Psychology - Spring 2023 - Stony Brook Universityhttps://mycourses.stonybrook.edu/d2l/le/content/367013/viewContent/14571755/View4/6Question 9 (Mandatory) (0.588 points)Question 10 (Mandatory) (0.588 points)SavedQuestion 11 (Mandatory) (0.588 points)Saved Match the following examples with the most likely stage they are in, according to Piaget s theory.1.2.3.4. Connor is having trouble learning how to behave in school to stay out of the principal s office somuch. This is an example of: Stephen is learning the preferred ways he must address his superiors, separate work and leisure,and how his job aligns with his worldview. This is an example of:An older adult s grandchildrenhave come to visit and he sitsand plays with them all, quietlyreflecting on how much joythey bring him A child begins to simulate thedeath of her toys while playing,but they always quickly comeback to lifeA young toddler begins tounderstand the affect that hehas on the environmentA child witnesses a fightbetween two friends,remembers how charactersfrom a book she read resolvedtheir differences, and offers asolution based on the stepsthey tookA young teen was asked to adance by two different boysand is thinking through howeach choice might affect herdifferent social relationshipspreoperationalformal operationalconcrete operationalsensorimotorSocializationSecondary socializationResocializationTactical socialization 2/11/23, 10:28 AMQuiz - -PSY 349.02 Special Topics in Social Psychology - Spring 2023 - Stony Brook Universityhttps://mycourses.stonybrook.edu/d2l/le/content/367013/viewContent/14571755/View5/6Question 12 (Mandatory) (0.588 points)SavedQuestion 13 (Mandatory) (0.588 points)SavedQuestion 14 (Mandatory) (0.588 points)SavedQuestion 15 (Mandatory) (0.588 points)Saved Dominque s spouse was killed in an accident, just a few years after they had been married, andnow she must adjust to this new, radically different way of living. This is an example of: Danielle enrolled in a seminar on the psychology of death and dying. This is an example of: What is a common way that mass media communicates to children about death? SocializationSecondary socializationResocializationTactical socializationSocializationSecondary socializationResocializationTactical socializationSocializationSecondary socializationResocializationTactical socializationDirectly, using concrete examples and informative statisticsDirectly, through detailed explanations of the moral issues of deathIndirectly, by reporting on deadly disasters or world eventsIndirectly, by playing playful announcements to encourage kids to talk to their parents aboutdeath 2/11/23, 10:28 AMQuiz - -PSY 349.02 Special Topics in Social Psychology - Spring 2023 - Stony Brook Universityhttps://mycourses.stonybrook.edu/d2l/le/content/367013/viewContent/14571755/View6/6Question 16 (Mandatory) (0.588 points)SavedQuestion 17 (Mandatory) (0.588 points)SavedIn books and conversations with children, the authors recommend the use of straightforwardwords (i.e., died, dead) rather than euphemisms (e.g., death as sleep).TrueFalse According to the chapter, the death of a pet According to the chapter, when euthanizing a pet, is best toSubmit Quiz15 of 17 questions savedCan be a very complex emotional moment for any member of the familyHas a very short grieving period, on averageIsn't as hard to understand as the death of a humanIs so traumatic that most people never really recover, emotionallyMake sure that children never know what happenedInclude children, assuring that they are fully informedAvoid the word euthanize when talking to childrenStrongly emphasize that the veterinarian made the decision